We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
