Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
