i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
