You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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