I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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