My nipple is on Facebook.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My ass is underappreciated
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
