All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
