a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
