it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
