Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
