I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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