Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
