Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
