We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
