My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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