Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
