Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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