I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
