I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
