I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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