Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
