oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
