Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
