There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
