my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I AM VODKA MAN
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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