Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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