why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So apparently I’m into choking now
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