And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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