I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
