capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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