Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Randomize
