Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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