So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
