I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
