Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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