Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
