i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
