never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and she was petting her beer can
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Two words: blizzard sex
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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