she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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