i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
