how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
