Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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