Hey man sorry I got all grabby
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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