Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
