...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
