If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
