The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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