If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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