he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
