and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
